July 7th 2009

I'm fucking angry this morning. There has got to be more to life that what I'm finding. Memories of bad times with people. Stupid ass people- all I have is the opposite of bodhissattva never disparaging.

I am Bodhisattva always disparaging

because my life feels unimportant to society.

I feel unloved and used up. I'm so emotionally pissed off at what I'm associating. I'm seeing everything through a crappy unhappy lens this morning. Nothing seems good enough. How bout it is all good. Instead of reaching the hotty, i reach the dedicated votary robot network.

I want her cause she is beautiful, not for who she is as a person. Oh higher self of Ellis, I want a new life. I want to get away from here, yet where I can go is no better. No one has hired me. I just have not found what I'm looking for.