October 5th, 2009

Frustration and anger now set in. What happened to my so-called exciting life? It only existed in my mind. I just can't seem to do enough to keep on top of feeling good. I did not eat for 24 hours and now I used some inferior lemons and old sunflower seeds along with just a few bits of chicken and I'm no better for it.

I really feel like the game is up with this world, yet how do I change the habits of 36 years and only drink my urine?

How do I only run on that when I've built everything up on the bullshit of this world. I've fucked up and I am having to face the fear of what could come. All because I had to go out to that stupid fucking bar -where that fucking whore teased me further. The devil