Now it is the second day in Egypt and so many things have happened. Now I have a sore throat for the first time in how long I don't remember. I have awoken on the third morning here in Hurghada and my thoughts have moved me to write in the living room while Noidea rests in the bedroom.

What are my true feelings about everything? Hmmm, I am not sure. I know that it will be better to have money than the situation I am currently inside. There is a frustration and a sexuality that is not satisfied now.

There is born a passion and an authority in my sex that Noidea likes. She is particular and there is no opinion or thought of mine which can prevent certain aspects of the Karma that I face. To keep my attitude correct is difficult at this point. I woke with the feeling that I cannot talk and do not want to talk because of the sore throat. 

The alcohol is dangerous in that I am raging a bit now. I am raging to the fact that sickness is impossible right now and I wonder many times what I was thinking to come here in the first place. There are complaints and disliking that must be metabolized in spite of these realities. To expand outside of the relationship seems unrealistic. I see the want in other women. I feel alone in that I cannot talk at the moment. What a strange feeling to be with a sore throat. Twenty dollars for wine and beer - she was right, I can be crazy. It does not feel like love.

I don't know what I'm doing and now I'm a little sick.